Boxes are for Packages, Not People

Quote of the day: “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” – M. Scott Peck

Today’s quote of the day hits me so deeply. It’s so true. The greatest movements, transitions or adventures that have happened in my short-lived “adult” life have always come out of those terribly uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled times. Here’s what I’ve realized this morning…

For years I’ve tried to be mindful (thanks Sangeetha) of my tendency to think in “all-or-nothing” terms because this process of thought feeds the insatiable beast of depression. When life becomes void of options, I become void of life. All-or-nothing thinking creates two compartments of thought—good or bad—which then create two pools of emotions—joy or sadness. To sustain a well life, I realized this thought process had to change and expand to include a whole spectrum of possibilities. That even when I feel like my back is against the wall, and there is nowhere to turn, an outlet will be made available. I might not be able to instantly see it with my own eyes, or touch it with my own hands, but somehow, some way, an option will present itself.

The irony is, spirit moves in funny ways, and I might not always “like” the option. It may not be what I had expected or anticipated. It may make me feel incredibly uncertain, but that is where the trust piece comes in. This trust is crucial. If we don’t have this sense of trust in the unknown and uncertain, then we will never feel as if we have options or possibilities. Life will reduce itself to calculated, pre-determined practicalities and we will reduce our greatness by remaining stuck in the past…for the past is the only thing in life that is known. Our future then becomes what we give attention to in the present, which is just a reoccurrence of what we know, which is the past.

Without creating room for the unknown I limit the possibilities of life to create magic, miracles or good luck.

Stay with me now. Here is what all this insight means to me in practical application terms…

I choose to bring all of me to the day job, to the night job, to relationships, to partnerships. No more compartments. No more boxes of selves. No more this Jill, that Jill, this hat, that hat. There is only one me, wearing all the hats at the same time, in the same place. All these separations of Self create rigidity, tightness, all-or-nothing thinking and total confusion. I lose the real me, and without the real me, there can be no trust in any type of uncertainty. There can be no foundation to leap off of. There can be no room for the unknown, and therefore, no room for the magic to happen.

Two more funny things happened this morning when I realized I no longer had to live with all these different selves, at different times, in different settings, with different hats on. And that I don’t have to set aside in the corner the best of me, telling her she can only come out to play when the time is right…again, that all-or-nothing thinking.

1. The miserable Jill who hates her job because she is totally and completely unfilled at work isn’t so miserable today because she isn’t alone in her misery. The joyous, hopeful, mindful, positive, loving and faith-walker Jill is also present and filling the space.

2. The stress of trying to do a variety of jobs and tasks for different people, with different purposes, all in one day, doesn’t feel so intense. It’s as if the easy-going, island girl has finally met the professional business woman and they have found a way to be friends.

Imagine that. Being ALL of you wherever you are.