One Hat Fits All

Quotes of the day: "My life is my message." - Mahatma Ghandi

"To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to." - Kahlil Gibran

Both of these quotes moved me deeply when I read them today. I love that on any given day a certain quote can affect you more than on another day. Each moment is different. Each day is unique. Each quote offers layers of wisdom and when we are drawn to a quote in a particular moment I believe it’s because it must speak to the layer we have just peeled or are trying to peel.

I just finished eating a banana. If only it could be that easy to peel away our layers as it is a banana.

Anyways, getting focused here, I feel like the lights have been turned on in me in a whole new way and I can’t wait to see what I find! It all started yesterday when I was at my friend Jill’s house. She lives in this beautifully open, spacious and window-filled house right on the lake in a nearby town. The backyard of her house extends towards the water and eventually stops when it meets the first of two community walking, biking, running (multipurpose) paths. Jill is an avid walker, so the location of this home is ideal for her.

In the wintertime the county doesn’t shovel one of the paths, so it becomes a decent place to cross country ski. Jill and I braved the elements yesterday, mostly the wind, snapped on our skis and off we went, sliding and gliding alongside the frozen lake. It felt fantastic to be outside, breathing in and out the cold, crisp, fresh, brisk air.

We skied out the back door of her house when we left and returned the same way. The fancy ski resorts got nothing on us :).

Afterwards, when I was getting ready to leave, I noticed a book she had lying on the banister of her stairway. Jill had just returned from a business trip to Seattle and placed on top of the stack of books was one, titled: It's Not about the Coffee: Leadership Principles from a Life at Starbucks.

Now, I love coffee, good coffee. I worked in a number of coffee shops during my twenties, mostly independently owned shops. I’ve never been a big fan of Starbucks’ coffee or their business model, which I assumed was as follows because of what I had seen first-hand: “Identify a successful local coffee shop and then open up a store right across the street from it and run it out of business.” In Syracuse, I saw this happen twice to a locally owned shop. To be honest, I have no idea of their actual business model. I don’t know if Starbucks' headquarters says to do this or not. I really don’t know, but I began to like Starbucks less and less when this happened.

Much to my surprise, when I saw this book on her banister I was instantly and excitedly intrigued. I picked it up right away and asked Jill if I could read it when she’s done. She told me to take it then because she wouldn’t be getting to it soon. Without hesitation, I placed it in my bag and off I went.

Last night, when my multiple loads of laundry were making their way into the washer and dryer, I began reading the book, and I have to say, I’m thirty something pages into it and it’s completely changing my life…the author, Howard Behar, Former president of Starbucks International, is completely changing my life.

I find myself connecting in a very powerful way to what Howard is saying. I had no idea of Starbucks’ business philosophy and what I am learning and reading so far is incredible. More importantly are the principles by which Howard lives his life, which has in turn become his work…his passion. The main message Howard is presenting over and over again in the beginning chapters of the book is: Know Who You Are—Wear ONE Hat All the Time, Every Time.

There’s so much I am relating to that I can’t write it all here. My entry would be pages and pages. It’s already getting long as it is, but I can’t emphasize how this message of his is influencing me. I’ve blogged back in January about feeling lost, confused and fatigue from wearing so many hats and by putting myself into so many different boxes. Howard speaks directly to this issue, as he once struggled with it, and affirms how we must find and wear ONE hat. With that one hat, we can do and be many things, but if we don’t know what that one hat is—who we are—then nothing else will matter and we will never feel satisfied, fulfilled or balanced. With wearing one hat, he says there is nothing to balance.

Wow. Read that again: With wearing one hat, he says there is nothing to balance.

How freeing...I feel like I can breathe better justing reading that.

Interesting enough to note, earlier in the day yesterday, before I went to Jill’s to ski, I kept wondering why I’ve been in “leadership” roles most of my life when I feel like I can barely manage life and all its stresses. I was quite baffled, actually. I couldn’t wrap my brain around why I continue to put myself in these roles when I feel like I can’t take the pressure. I even asked my husband about it.

I don’t believe it was a coincidence that this book on leadership principles caught my eye at Jill’s when I had been questioning my own leadership abilities. Because of yesterday’s reading, I’ve realized I don’t know who I am. I really don’t. I know who I’m not and Neale Donald Walsch talks about how important that is during the process of discovering who we are.

I’ve realized the reason I haven’t settled into fulfilling work in my life is precisely because I don’t know who I am. I used to think I needed to find what I am passionate about, which is only partially true. Like Howard said, once we know who we are, we find our passions. Ah, ha! I’ve been looking in the wrong place the whole time. It’s not about finding things I am passionate about. It’s about finding me.

Like I said before, there’s something special about my friend Jill. She’s like a crystal, or genie. Whatever she is, I’m so glad I have her in my life.

Another layer has been shed. If only I knew what was underneath it all. Little by little, I’m discovering it…I can discovering me.