Catch Me if You Can

Quote of the day: “Don't be afraid to be amazing.” —Andy Offutt Irwin; storyteller, singer-songwriter

It’s amazing what an evening of resting can do for the spirit. After living through yesterday’s vat of fatigue, I am aware now more than ever how important it is to not act on anything I am thinking and feeling when I feel that way, and to relax in the knowing this too shall pass.

Feeling fatigue in spirit almost feels like the flu, but worse because unlike with the flu, there is a fear it won’t go away. Sure, when you’re sick with the flu it feels like it’s lasting forever, but you know there is an end in sight. When you’re sick with a fatigued spirit, it’s difficult to trust in the hope of there being brighter, more energetic and inspired days ahead. The dark, soul-sucking vat the fatigue places you in feels timeless.

Today, in less than 24 hours, I’ve made my way out of the vat. My spirit is much more awake and I’m feeling hopeful. Yesterday, by 5:30 p.m., I was ready to walk away from it all—the job, the belief in being able to create something for myself, the hope of living my dreams. This morning, when the clock turned to work wake-up time, I felt the dread I normally feel on week days, but that was it. There was no vacuum; no black hole harboring my spirit like the day before. I was free.

You know that feeling when you wipe clean the windshield of a dirty car, or when you clean the bathroom mirror…that feeling of Ahhhhhhhhhh. Oh yes, this is how I felt when I woke up.

In taking advantage of my being present, I walked into my boss’ office this morning and asked if it would be OK if I took a vacation day tomorrow. She confirmed it would be fine.

And just like that, I’ve created some breathing space for my Self.

We do NOT have to fear our unique ability to be amazing. We can have it all, little by little, if we believe and trust in the hope of the dream. When we’re tired, it doesn’t mean we can’t do it all. It doesn’t mean we have to walk away from a vision. It simply means to do nothing for a moment and rest.

These moments of fatigue used to discourage me from giving all my dreams hope. I would assign inaccurate beliefs to the experience, such as: Your dreams are unrealistic. See, you can’t do it all; have it all. Your expectations are too high. Stop shooting for the stars and face reality.

Coming full circle to a philosophy I blogged about from Neale Donald Walsch, which states how we give meaning to everything and anything that happens in our lives—that there is no other meaning than the meaning we assign to it. I would allow the fatigue to assign self-defeating meanings to my life. I’m no longer doing that.

The only meaning I can give to what I felt yesterday was that it meant I needed to rest. And today, I’m shooting for the stars.