Time To Put The Big Girl Panties On

Quote of the day: “Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny.” —Tyron Edwards; theologian

Yesterday was a whirlwind. I didn’t even have a minute to blog. From the time I left the house in the morning until I returned in the evening around 9 p.m., it was just non-stop. The studio needs this week have been greater than usual, as well as the need for me to attend community meetings in the evenings. Plus, I’ve begun to inquire about “affordable” insurance plans for my husband and me to purchase since we’ll be losing our insurance coverage once I make the leap.

I quote the word affordable because it is absolutely ridiculous how these companies state that in their literature. It’s such a joke. Either the deductibles are insane or the monthly payments are exorbitant. You’re screwed either way, whether you have insurance or you don’t.

For example, I just found out this week that the mouth impression I am supposed to get made for me to wear during the night while I am sleeping to help with my TMJ is not going to be covered by the dental insurance that I do have now through the university, which is pretty good insurance. I even pay for the more “comprehensive” dental package. Get this: they told me that they would pay for 50% of the actual mouth piece, but would not pay for the x-rays and other tests required for my dentist to figure out how to create the mouth piece, which will cost me over $300. The mouth piece can run around $1000, so that will cost me $500. I pay around $80 month. So, for the year, I’ve paid them about $960. With the insurance coverage, I have to still pay an extra $800, so my total insurance and out-of-pocket costs are now $1760. If I didn’t have insurance, my total costs would be $1300. Hmm...

Neither is really affordable and none of it makes sense.

I also love how the meaning of the word affordable changes when a profitable company uses it. It is all relative. Try to have a low-income family use the word affordable when putting together rates for a plan and you'd see a drastic decrease in what would be considered affordable.

Enough of the rambling…the point is everything is getting all too real and clear these days about me leaping. In yesterday’s staff meeting at work, I realized I need to inform my boss sooner than I anticipated. That stressed me out, but it is the reality and needs to happen. I plan on speaking with her next week. I am petrified. I just care about her and feel bad about leaving her with the hassle of filling a position, if the administration even allows her to fill it. This is why I need to tell her sooner than later. For her to be prepared.

My mother also brought to my attention a very, very important detail that I had overlooked about the leap.

NOTE: I hadn't disclosed any of my intentions about leaping to my mother because it would merely stress her out, and frankly, stress me out. I love her dearly, but having faith in finding and creating purposeful work for oneself isn’t really her strong suit.

The only reason why I disclosed this information to her was because she started questioning me on the dog commitment, noting that I am never home, which is a valid argument. But, I will be more, soon, and I could not tell her that piece of information because it changes everything. Thankfully, she didn’t harbor on it when I asked her to not be concerned because I am working on finding a solution.

Although yesterday, she brought up a very good point, which is why we probably should always tell our mothers the truth in what’s going on for us. They tend to think of details we may overlook. In August, our car lease is up and we’ll need to sign a new one. Since we are a one-car family, this car is important. My mom enlightened me to the fact that we better turn in the car early and sign a new lease BEFORE I leap or else we won’t be able to get the loan.

Very, very good point. Thank God for moms.

Even with all these LATs (Life Administrative Tasks) coming to the forefront this week, I’m still feeling confident, hopeful and joyful for the choices I am making. Even though they say, “The devil is in the details,” I feel like the devil is actually in me doing nothing about the current state of my life. Action is key, even if it comes with the headache of deductibles, co-pays and cars loans.