Getting To The Mountain Top

Quote of the day: “When we talk about understanding, surely it takes place only when the mind listens completely -- the mind being your heart, your nerves, your ears- when you give your whole attention to it.” —Jiddu Krishnamurti; writer, speaker

A major milestone has been achieved today.

I told my boss I was leaping.

Even though I am still about 6 weeks out from my projected departure date, there have been significant rumblings in our department about not filling vacant positions. With this news, I felt it was only appropriate to inform my boss, so she could prepare accordingly.

I sat down in one of the two chairs placed across from her desk at 8 a.m. this morning. She was out of town yesterday, so I inquired about her travels and we laughed over a few adventures she had. After the laughter subsided, I didn’t waste any more time getting to the reason why I called the meeting. I got right to the point and told her I needed to resign at the end of May.

“What!” she said in a shocked, yet non-attacking tone.

“I know, I know,” I said. “I’m so, so sorry.”

I began to shake.

She quickly dismissed my apologies as unnecessary and immediately inquired about what I’ve been thinking and feeling. She held a comfortable, non-threatening space that allowed me to divulge many of the confusions I have in my head about my career. She sat in her chair with her forearms crossed comfortably on her desk, allowing me to explain how I’ve been merely surviving … going through the motions … doing what I need to do … without knowing where I actually am in all of it.

She listened.

After I disclosed all I had been keeping from her, she invited me to relax, helping me to end the shakiness. She then began to disclose her own personal feelings of thinking about a change in career. She did this to validate my feelings, not to make the conversation about her. It was really gentle and comforting.

Then, the conversation shifted where she began to brainstorm other options for me regarding my departure date and/or a possible change in my current work schedule to keep me on staff. They are all good options and something for me to consider. She asked I spend some time weighing them, knowing that I may stay firm with the original timeline, which is OK.

As the conversation came to a close, she stood up from her desk, walked out from behind it, and gave me a big, huge hug.

I have never been more relieved in my life.

Thank you, Dearest God, Greatest Spirit, Creator of All, for blessing me with such a peaceful and supportive exchange. May today’s summit be the beginning of an ever greater journey into the unknown.