Washing My Eyes

Quote of the day: “Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again.” —Alex Tan

My dear boss informed me yesterday that the office will be taking me out for a going-away-party lunch on Friday (with cocktails) and that I am to go home after the party because it doesn’t make sense to then go back to work, even though next Friday (July 9) is my official last day. I was really touched by this invitation and am looking forward to it.

So I’ve been brainstorming gift ideas to give my fellow comrades at the party. My closest friends know that I’m not really a “gift” person, meaning I’m not someone who buys “stuff” to give others. I’m more of a heartfelt, tell-you-I-love-you and appreciate-you kind of person. Thinking about Friday’s lunch has started to make this leap feel much more real, along with me filing away all the miscellaneous stuff on my desk. I continue to point out how influential the past month of busyness has affected me, and today I see clearly how detached I am from the reality of me about to step away from this office. I know there has to be way more emotion hidden beneath some layer inside of me because I am a super emotional person, and up to this point, the well has been pretty dry. I did, however, have a small breakthrough today.

I wasn’t up for exercising on my lunch break because our morning meeting ran late and by the time we ended, I was too hungry to work out. I needed to eat lunch. So instead, after I ate, I journeyed to my favorite retreat spot on campus, the University’s chapel, and picked up a cup of coffee.

Last summer I spent many, many lunch hours in the chapel reading, praying or resting. It is a beautiful, majestic space. I often prayed for the wisdom, patience and spiritual strength to make a change in my work life. And now, one year later, I’m making the change … the layer began to peal.

I thanked the chapel for holding me this past year, for allowing me to express my feelings and for giving me a space to connect with my innate holiness. I cried in gratitude.