Monday, August 23, 2010

Chirp, Chirp

I believe it has been around six weeks or so since I last posted, and that post was my last day of work … that work. A lot has surfaced since then.

My plan was to give myself a month … a “dream month,” bought for and paid by my former place of employment through my unused four weeks of vacation, hence the month. Although it’s quite arbitrary to think that a person will come to realize all that they must within a designated time frame, having one provided a balance of practicality and creativity.

My dream month was filled with a blend of wondrous nothingness and predetermined purposes. Each morning I rose when I did, hoping to catch the wake of an early morning hour, so I could taste the sweetness of sunrise. To me, there is nothing more magical and calming as the quiet of the morning hour.

Most days, after I completed my morning journaling and cup of coffee, I summonsed by dear dogson, Charlie, and we headed out for an adventure. This part of the day was something we both looked forward to.

By 10 a.m., I would begin to feel a sadness creeping in—a mourning of sorts as another day was about to come and go. It wouldn’t hang around long; just a passing. The afternoons were always up for grabs. Some days I listened to music lying on my bed, allowing myself to be inspired. A few different creative projects were given birth because of it. Other days I cleaned and organized my house, had dates with friends, played arts and crafts, or went swimming in my aunt’s pool.

Besides the rest and relaxation of my mind, body, and spirit, a number of practical things were accomplished during this time. I planted two gardens—corn in the back yard and a bed of perennial plants in the front yard. My husband and I planted the perennial bed together, which I felt was super meaningful and symbolic. It was beautiful.

I also constructed a compost bin in the far corner of our back yard. That felt really, really good to complete.

Yoga has been a physical practice that I’ve enjoyed over the years and it has always provided me with a greater sense of balance, so I signed up for a seven-week unlimited yoga pass. It has been working wonders on my body, mind and spirit. I’ve been feeling incredibly balanced and centered. I still have a few sessions left.

Lastly, I took a four-week Memoir writing class at a local writing center. There were only four classes, one each week, so it went by really fast, but I learned a ton. Words can’t begin to capture the shift that happened in me as a writer from taking the course. It was significant and is helping me to move forward creatively. I’m really thankful.

So, this is all the stuff I’ve been doing on the surface, but honestly, I really have been spending my time living below the surface. I’ve been deconstructing beliefs and thought patters, and I’ve been excavating blocked areas within my self in order to gain a better sense of my Self. I’m not talking about pumping up my ego-self…I’m talking about reconnecting with the real me, the one who changes at all times, in all spaces, in all places, who loves and shines bright. It’s been nice to reconnect.

It’s nice to feel at home, within. It’s even better than spending time at my mom’s house.

A few questions, big and small, have been answered:

1). Do you want to work for your own company? Yes, I want to give breath to it … give it more life by utilizing all the communication skills I have learned by working with and for other people, combined with my own innate skills. This can be done in alignment with my desire for flexible and creative entrepreneurship.

2) Are you a creative person? Yes.

3). Are you allowed to find your own rhythm to living life? Yes.

4). Can you create the life you desire? Yes, by taking action each day, small or big, that’s in alignment with what I desire, and by staying present.

Some questions still remained unanswered:
1). Exactly how will you pay your bills?

2). How can I sustain this feeling of balance?

This post is the start of me coming out from my incubation. The shell has cracked. Who knows what we will find.

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