Quote of the day: “Let the beauty that we love be what we do.” —Jalal ad-Din Rumi; persian poet, mystic
What an inspiring quote. If only it were that simple. Well, is it?
Are we able to let the beauty that we love BE what we DO?
I guess it’s how one defines “do.” My instincts want to define it as our job, our work, our career…whatever it is that allows us to earn money. But maybe this definition is limiting. Maybe “what we do” can be more accurately defined as our actions, responses or initiations to each moment in life. Therefore, allowing the beauty to guide us at all times regardless of our job description.
And then maybe, the job or career will work itself out through the mere act of living out such beauty. Imagine that? Could it be so?
I can only hope.
As I walk this path of dedication to emotional and spiritual fulfillment as my life’s reality, I continue to turn within each day to reconnect with the beauty. On some days, I am guided by it. On other days, I am lost by it. Today, I am annoyed by it because I feel alone in it.
Moments like these happen naturally. I must not negate or berate my Self because of them. They only mean that I’m aching for stillness, within and without.
On a physical note, I have been experiencing the worst stomach pains all afternoon, which is very uncharacteristic for me. I’m not sure what is going on, but it is quite uncomfortable. I feel like I am never going to get through this day! Someway, somehow there has got to be a connection here. Hmm…..
May the beauty that you love be what you do.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Fool's Gold
Quote of the day: “Know in your heart that all things are possible. We couldn't conceive of a miracle if none had ever happened.” —Libbie Fudim
Today the sun shines brightly and warmly through the basement windows in our office. I can see a glimpse of the clear blue sky. It’s calling me. It’s pulling at me, but I am stuck, chained to my desk. The computer screen sitting before me has become my sky. But unfortunately, when you stare off into the computer screen you don’t get that warm, fuzzy, I-can-do-anything type of feeling. Instead, I get a fried-brain feeling.
Normally, I would throw myself outside in this beautiful day to exercise on my lunch break, but I wasn’t able to. My break was eaten up by campus-meeting No. 3, which was with another woman in a different department. I continue to follow the recommendations of those made to me as if I’m following clues to a treasure chest. With each meeting, I hope to find the gold. Today proved to be yet another clue.
Once again I was graciously received by a dynamic woman. She not only listened to me and shared with me logistical understandings of how the University functions, she also brainstormed project ideas. What a gracious woman. Yet, I still walked away with more unanswered clues.
After today’s meeting, I’m feeling a bit weary. Intellectually I know that three meetings is nothing. We’ve all heard stories of people triumphing after having door after door slammed in their face. I’m amazed at the tenacity of those people. What passion and drive they must have had to continue on. I am inspired by those stories.
With faith and a belief in a God who believes in me, I will continue on. I must. I just need to hang out at base camp for a bit to restock and refuel. That’s all. Then I’ll be ready to set out on the next treasure hunt.
In the meantime, while I’m restocking and refueling, I’ll continue to peak my head around the large corner cabinet that blocks my view to the outside world and soak in as much sun as I can. In the present moment we create our future and my hope is for a future of career fulfillment. So in this moment, I must trust in the truth that my needs are met and have always been met.
Today the sun shines brightly and warmly through the basement windows in our office. I can see a glimpse of the clear blue sky. It’s calling me. It’s pulling at me, but I am stuck, chained to my desk. The computer screen sitting before me has become my sky. But unfortunately, when you stare off into the computer screen you don’t get that warm, fuzzy, I-can-do-anything type of feeling. Instead, I get a fried-brain feeling.
Normally, I would throw myself outside in this beautiful day to exercise on my lunch break, but I wasn’t able to. My break was eaten up by campus-meeting No. 3, which was with another woman in a different department. I continue to follow the recommendations of those made to me as if I’m following clues to a treasure chest. With each meeting, I hope to find the gold. Today proved to be yet another clue.
Once again I was graciously received by a dynamic woman. She not only listened to me and shared with me logistical understandings of how the University functions, she also brainstormed project ideas. What a gracious woman. Yet, I still walked away with more unanswered clues.
After today’s meeting, I’m feeling a bit weary. Intellectually I know that three meetings is nothing. We’ve all heard stories of people triumphing after having door after door slammed in their face. I’m amazed at the tenacity of those people. What passion and drive they must have had to continue on. I am inspired by those stories.
With faith and a belief in a God who believes in me, I will continue on. I must. I just need to hang out at base camp for a bit to restock and refuel. That’s all. Then I’ll be ready to set out on the next treasure hunt.
In the meantime, while I’m restocking and refueling, I’ll continue to peak my head around the large corner cabinet that blocks my view to the outside world and soak in as much sun as I can. In the present moment we create our future and my hope is for a future of career fulfillment. So in this moment, I must trust in the truth that my needs are met and have always been met.
Friday, March 5, 2010
My Glass Slipper
Quote of the day: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." - George Carlin, comedian/entertainer
The joy of weekend freedom once again woos me through another work day, pushing and pulling me through each tick on the clock tower. I’m so happy it is Friday.
As soon as the little hand reaches the five and the big hand reaches the twelve, it is as if I’ve turned into my princess self. My motored chariot awaits me and off we go…into magic land.
Tonight I don’t care what I do or don’t do. We either go to the ball or we don’t. C’est la vie (such is life). All I care about is that I’m now a princess and not a servant. No more scrubbing, sweeping, or cleaning. No more orders to follow or rules to obey. It’s now my turn to be in charge.
Thoughts of the weekend have the power to do that – make me feel high and hopeful. They pick me up out of an enclosed space and place me in an open field. I can breathe big, deep and full. I can feel the grandness surrounding me. It’s precious.
As with Cinderella, the stroke of midnight will come for me, but not until forty eight hours from now. In the meantime, I have a fantasy to fulfill…and a dress to kill.
The joy of weekend freedom once again woos me through another work day, pushing and pulling me through each tick on the clock tower. I’m so happy it is Friday.
As soon as the little hand reaches the five and the big hand reaches the twelve, it is as if I’ve turned into my princess self. My motored chariot awaits me and off we go…into magic land.
Tonight I don’t care what I do or don’t do. We either go to the ball or we don’t. C’est la vie (such is life). All I care about is that I’m now a princess and not a servant. No more scrubbing, sweeping, or cleaning. No more orders to follow or rules to obey. It’s now my turn to be in charge.
Thoughts of the weekend have the power to do that – make me feel high and hopeful. They pick me up out of an enclosed space and place me in an open field. I can breathe big, deep and full. I can feel the grandness surrounding me. It’s precious.
As with Cinderella, the stroke of midnight will come for me, but not until forty eight hours from now. In the meantime, I have a fantasy to fulfill…and a dress to kill.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
A Day In The Life
Quote of the day: “Take a moment to notice the poem that is your own life.” – Georgia Popoff, poet and teaching artist
Morning rise
a struggle in sight
Coffee high
A lost worker’s delight
Yearnings of movement lingers
from morning to night
Sitting in front of the computer
desperate to catch a flight
Daydreams fill gaps of time
hopes and wishes abound
Daring risks becoming prime
awaiting for my spirit to be found
Dancing feet
arms swimming in the air
Elated beats
joy circulating to share
Late suppers fuel the empty shell
nightly episodes entertain
Snuggles on the couch fill the well
after a working days’ drain
Check out Georgia's blog: http://gappoet.blogspot.com/
Morning rise
a struggle in sight
Coffee high
A lost worker’s delight
Yearnings of movement lingers
from morning to night
Sitting in front of the computer
desperate to catch a flight
Daydreams fill gaps of time
hopes and wishes abound
Daring risks becoming prime
awaiting for my spirit to be found
Dancing feet
arms swimming in the air
Elated beats
joy circulating to share
Late suppers fuel the empty shell
nightly episodes entertain
Snuggles on the couch fill the well
after a working days’ drain
Check out Georgia's blog: http://gappoet.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Magic In The Air
Quote of the day: “Over prepare; then go with the flow.” – Regina Brett, journalist
Today I was able to get outside for a jog on my lunch break. I haven’t done so since November because of the wintery mix. But today, the sun was out. The air was mildly cool yet cleansing. It was refreshing.
After coming back inside to complete my usual strength-training exercises, I couldn’t help but to ponder about the importance of getting “fresh” air, outside! Yes, there is air all around us. In our homes, in our workplaces, in our lungs…air is everywhere, thankfully. But there is just something magical or medicinal about the air outside.
When I was jogging, the usual thoughts raced through my mind: Who are you? What do you want out of life? What are you passionate about? What do you like doing? How can you serve others? How will you earn money? How can you leave a job without a job in this economy? How will you afford healthcare? What will you actually do?
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
These thoughts so often rumble through my brain that I feel like they are now becoming a part of me, kinda like the beauty mark on my face, only I wouldn’t describe them as a mark of beauty. Most of the time they feel more like acid reflux disease—irritable and unforgettable.
But today, the cool, crisp, refreshing air soothed my symptoms just as my mother’s over-the-counter Titralac soothes her esophagus. As the thoughts came in waves, instead of getting dragged into the undertow, I was able to stay afloat and ride them to shore.
As Regina talks about in today’s quote, I’ve realized these thoughts are my way to prepare. They may not all translate into tangible tasks or resolutions in the present moment, but that is what I anticipate will happen as I go with the flow. That’s the whole purpose of this experiment. To document what happens when you go with the flow…with faith in a destined outcome.
Maybe all that fresh air has gone straight to my head and froze any sense of rational thinking I have left. Or, maybe it has awakened my skin, rejuvenated by body and ignited my spirit. All I know is that I feel better knowing what I don’t know.
Surfs up!
Today I was able to get outside for a jog on my lunch break. I haven’t done so since November because of the wintery mix. But today, the sun was out. The air was mildly cool yet cleansing. It was refreshing.
After coming back inside to complete my usual strength-training exercises, I couldn’t help but to ponder about the importance of getting “fresh” air, outside! Yes, there is air all around us. In our homes, in our workplaces, in our lungs…air is everywhere, thankfully. But there is just something magical or medicinal about the air outside.
When I was jogging, the usual thoughts raced through my mind: Who are you? What do you want out of life? What are you passionate about? What do you like doing? How can you serve others? How will you earn money? How can you leave a job without a job in this economy? How will you afford healthcare? What will you actually do?
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
These thoughts so often rumble through my brain that I feel like they are now becoming a part of me, kinda like the beauty mark on my face, only I wouldn’t describe them as a mark of beauty. Most of the time they feel more like acid reflux disease—irritable and unforgettable.
But today, the cool, crisp, refreshing air soothed my symptoms just as my mother’s over-the-counter Titralac soothes her esophagus. As the thoughts came in waves, instead of getting dragged into the undertow, I was able to stay afloat and ride them to shore.
As Regina talks about in today’s quote, I’ve realized these thoughts are my way to prepare. They may not all translate into tangible tasks or resolutions in the present moment, but that is what I anticipate will happen as I go with the flow. That’s the whole purpose of this experiment. To document what happens when you go with the flow…with faith in a destined outcome.
Maybe all that fresh air has gone straight to my head and froze any sense of rational thinking I have left. Or, maybe it has awakened my skin, rejuvenated by body and ignited my spirit. All I know is that I feel better knowing what I don’t know.
Surfs up!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
High-Heeled Guru
Quote of the day: “If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth.” —Mitsugi Saotome; Aikido instructor, author
When I need a little “sense of self” pick-me-up, I turn to my outfit. I know this sounds a bit corny and superficial, but surprisingly, it always seems to works wonders for the day. What’s even a greater surprise is that I was one of the biggest non-girlie jocks most of my life. It wasn’t until I started African dancing on Kauai that I got in touch with my more creative, feminine side.
Normally, I run out of the house in the morning dressing in record time. I’m always rushing. Always. I pull out of my closet simple and mostly appropriate clothing for my work environment. On most days, I don’t give my outfit much thought except for the weather conditions. This morning, while standing under a fountain of warm water in my much-to-be-desired shower, hoping to wake up, I thought about wearing one of my new pair of boots.
Now, this isn’t your average pair of snow boots. These are my high-heeled, black leathered, knee-high boots with a wide-strapped leather band over the top part of my foot, pulled into a silver circular buckle down by my ankle. I love them. I feel fabulous in them.
Because I wanted to wear the boots, well, feel fabulous today, it only made sense to wear a skirt. This is always a safe choice when I looking to feel more flavorful. At first I went for the fitted black skirt, which would have been an obvious, predictable choice, but since I’m being honest here, I didn’t choose it because it needed to be ironed and I didn’t have time for that. I continued to shop through the skirts I had hanging in my closet since no ironing would be required, and found a pleasant surprise.
More than three years ago, my husband and I traveled to the Ivory Coast, West Africa, to visit with his family for the first time. He hadn’t been back to his country since he left ten years prior and now he was bringing his wife. Yikes! We had a wonderful trip and one of the best parts was shopping in the markets and buying a bunch of African fabric. Set up on the streets in market-style are a number of tailors and we both had some clothes made with the fabric. I chose mostly skirts and today I put on one of them.
So with my fabulous black boots I slipped on a hip-hugging, black-brown-white-silver African-printed skirt with a yummy-feeling black turtleneck sweater and a chunky necklace strung with black-brown-silver-beads and a large, circular and silver pendant.
Perfect.
It’s amazing how an outfit can help me to feel more alive today…more like my Self.
Speaking from the girl who still carries around a wallet as her purse, never would I have thought I would blog about an outfit, but if you read between the lines, today’s entry isn’t really about an outfit. Is it?
When I need a little “sense of self” pick-me-up, I turn to my outfit. I know this sounds a bit corny and superficial, but surprisingly, it always seems to works wonders for the day. What’s even a greater surprise is that I was one of the biggest non-girlie jocks most of my life. It wasn’t until I started African dancing on Kauai that I got in touch with my more creative, feminine side.
Normally, I run out of the house in the morning dressing in record time. I’m always rushing. Always. I pull out of my closet simple and mostly appropriate clothing for my work environment. On most days, I don’t give my outfit much thought except for the weather conditions. This morning, while standing under a fountain of warm water in my much-to-be-desired shower, hoping to wake up, I thought about wearing one of my new pair of boots.
Now, this isn’t your average pair of snow boots. These are my high-heeled, black leathered, knee-high boots with a wide-strapped leather band over the top part of my foot, pulled into a silver circular buckle down by my ankle. I love them. I feel fabulous in them.
Because I wanted to wear the boots, well, feel fabulous today, it only made sense to wear a skirt. This is always a safe choice when I looking to feel more flavorful. At first I went for the fitted black skirt, which would have been an obvious, predictable choice, but since I’m being honest here, I didn’t choose it because it needed to be ironed and I didn’t have time for that. I continued to shop through the skirts I had hanging in my closet since no ironing would be required, and found a pleasant surprise.
More than three years ago, my husband and I traveled to the Ivory Coast, West Africa, to visit with his family for the first time. He hadn’t been back to his country since he left ten years prior and now he was bringing his wife. Yikes! We had a wonderful trip and one of the best parts was shopping in the markets and buying a bunch of African fabric. Set up on the streets in market-style are a number of tailors and we both had some clothes made with the fabric. I chose mostly skirts and today I put on one of them.
So with my fabulous black boots I slipped on a hip-hugging, black-brown-white-silver African-printed skirt with a yummy-feeling black turtleneck sweater and a chunky necklace strung with black-brown-silver-beads and a large, circular and silver pendant.
Perfect.
It’s amazing how an outfit can help me to feel more alive today…more like my Self.
Speaking from the girl who still carries around a wallet as her purse, never would I have thought I would blog about an outfit, but if you read between the lines, today’s entry isn’t really about an outfit. Is it?
Monday, March 1, 2010
Sitting in the Driver's Seat
Quote of the day: “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -- Andre Gide, French writer, humanist and moralist, 1947 nobel prize for literature.
The greatest challenge I have with this blog does not have to do with the task of sitting still to write nearly every day. My greatest challenge is actually getting in touch with how I am feeling. I used to think I was pretty connected with how I feel, but after two months of documenting this journey, I’m not nearly as connected as I thought.
What I mean by that is I’m a go-through-the-motions type of gal. I allow myself to get pulled in 10,000 directions. My greatest asset of adaptability has become my greatest weakness. I’ve become so accustom to fitting in everywhere, doing any sort of task or assignment—from marketing to public relations to accounting to secretary—that I have no clue what I actually enjoy doing or feel good at. Sure, I find a nugget of joy in everything I do in order to keep me spiritually intact, but this journey of faith and destiny has required me to get very honest with myself, and boy, have I not been living honestly.
When you truly believe and have faith in a spirit that’s bigger than you, and that it supports you back tenfold, then it gives you the courage to be honest because there is no longer the fear of not being able to handle the truth.
My living dishonestly has gotten to the point where I actually can’t see where the lie has become the truth and the truth has become the lie.
How did I get to this point?
It all started when I left Kauai around eight years ago. I felt so confident and comfortable in my spirit that I remember thinking and feeling I could be or do anything and it wouldn’t “affect” me. After years of breaking down the attachment to and understanding of an identity, I realized I could wait on tables, sweep floors, clean houses, be an executive, own a business—whatever it was that I did, it just didn’t matter. All that mattered was who I was doing all of these tasks.
This belief freed me to experience life in a new way. I moved to New York City with tremendous excitement. I gave myself permission to experience the joys of city life. After years of living in wondrous places of natural beauty, it felt only appropriate to experience the city—its own form of beauty. Without an external identity, you can do and be anything at any time, any place.
Because of this belief, I’ve continued to do many different jobs and be many different positions…and it now feels like many different people. All of which have taught me tremendously, yet, it has caused me great confusion. I feel like I’m spinning at the top of the twister. I’m embarrassed to say, it has affected me.
Although I do still belief it’s not what we do in this world that matters, but who we are doing it, I don’t like who I am at this moment in time because it doesn’t feel like me. Maybe it’s “me” coming full circle, coming back to my Self. Maybe I’ve had to get lost all of these years in order to come back home, refocus and reconnect for a rebirth. Maybe I haven’t been lost at all; that this is just part of the discovery process.
I don’t just want to do any job or any task anymore. I don’t know what that means—if I am less evolved or more evolved. All I know is that I’m looking for the sweet spot, where the spiritual me and world me collide. After eight years of allowing myself to be and do anything, I’m looking to reposition my place in this world to maximize my natural, spirited talents. Enough already. I’m tired. I’d like to simplify.
I yearn to take my Self back in order to give it again, though hopefully in a more balanced way. Although I’ve continuously tuned up my spirit during these past eight years of free wheelin’ to get through the years, it’s now time for a new ride…and preferably a hybrid.
The greatest challenge I have with this blog does not have to do with the task of sitting still to write nearly every day. My greatest challenge is actually getting in touch with how I am feeling. I used to think I was pretty connected with how I feel, but after two months of documenting this journey, I’m not nearly as connected as I thought.
What I mean by that is I’m a go-through-the-motions type of gal. I allow myself to get pulled in 10,000 directions. My greatest asset of adaptability has become my greatest weakness. I’ve become so accustom to fitting in everywhere, doing any sort of task or assignment—from marketing to public relations to accounting to secretary—that I have no clue what I actually enjoy doing or feel good at. Sure, I find a nugget of joy in everything I do in order to keep me spiritually intact, but this journey of faith and destiny has required me to get very honest with myself, and boy, have I not been living honestly.
When you truly believe and have faith in a spirit that’s bigger than you, and that it supports you back tenfold, then it gives you the courage to be honest because there is no longer the fear of not being able to handle the truth.
My living dishonestly has gotten to the point where I actually can’t see where the lie has become the truth and the truth has become the lie.
How did I get to this point?
It all started when I left Kauai around eight years ago. I felt so confident and comfortable in my spirit that I remember thinking and feeling I could be or do anything and it wouldn’t “affect” me. After years of breaking down the attachment to and understanding of an identity, I realized I could wait on tables, sweep floors, clean houses, be an executive, own a business—whatever it was that I did, it just didn’t matter. All that mattered was who I was doing all of these tasks.
This belief freed me to experience life in a new way. I moved to New York City with tremendous excitement. I gave myself permission to experience the joys of city life. After years of living in wondrous places of natural beauty, it felt only appropriate to experience the city—its own form of beauty. Without an external identity, you can do and be anything at any time, any place.
Because of this belief, I’ve continued to do many different jobs and be many different positions…and it now feels like many different people. All of which have taught me tremendously, yet, it has caused me great confusion. I feel like I’m spinning at the top of the twister. I’m embarrassed to say, it has affected me.
Although I do still belief it’s not what we do in this world that matters, but who we are doing it, I don’t like who I am at this moment in time because it doesn’t feel like me. Maybe it’s “me” coming full circle, coming back to my Self. Maybe I’ve had to get lost all of these years in order to come back home, refocus and reconnect for a rebirth. Maybe I haven’t been lost at all; that this is just part of the discovery process.
I don’t just want to do any job or any task anymore. I don’t know what that means—if I am less evolved or more evolved. All I know is that I’m looking for the sweet spot, where the spiritual me and world me collide. After eight years of allowing myself to be and do anything, I’m looking to reposition my place in this world to maximize my natural, spirited talents. Enough already. I’m tired. I’d like to simplify.
I yearn to take my Self back in order to give it again, though hopefully in a more balanced way. Although I’ve continuously tuned up my spirit during these past eight years of free wheelin’ to get through the years, it’s now time for a new ride…and preferably a hybrid.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
